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WHO MAY BE MARRIED AT ST. PAUL'S ?
 

  All Catholics who live within our parish boundaries

  Catholics who live outside our parish boundaries, but who
      have registered as members of the parish at least a year
  before setting a date for their marriage

  Catholics who used to live and worship at St. Paul's and have
      received a recorded sacrament here (e.g., baptism,
      confirmation).
 

Call the Rectory at least six months before setting a date; DO
      NOT SET A DATE WITH A RECEPTION HALL FIRST !     (You may
      lose your deposit there, if your date is not available at the church.)

  Arrange the date by phone with one of the priests; he may give
      you several available dates to work with.    He will then schedule
      an appointment for you to meet with him.

When a date is set in the parish books, the couple must
    eventually obtain the following documents (but not more
      than six months before the wedding):

                                        If confirmation has never been received, you must
                                     tell the priest of this fact in the first conversation
                                     with him, when arranging the wedding.    The priest
                                        then has the time to rectify this problem.    He may,
                                        for example, help you enter the parish RCIA program
                                        for this purpose.

                                        (First Holy Communion may not be filled out on
                                        this new baptismal certificate; that is because the
                                        parish issuing the certificate knows that this is
                                        not strictly required for marriages.)

                         2.   A letter of "freedom to marry"  from the parish of
                                        a Catholic from another parish.    This is obtained
                                        from the parish office of the church where that
                                        party is a member.     Obtaining this letter ensures
                                        the the banns of marriage will be announced in
                                        that parish.

MAY WE CHOOSE A PRIEST OR DEACON OTHER THAN ONE
         FROM THE PARISH?

       Of course you may have your own priest or deacon, as long
                as he is approved by the Bishop.    Just mention this request
                to one of St. Paul's parish priests.

    IS THERE A MINIMUM AGE REQUIREMENT FOR THE MAID OF
        HONOR OR THE BEST MAN?

        Two law systems come into play here.    The Church makes
                no special age requirements for either of these, although it
                is preferred that they be confirmed.     The State of New York,
                however, does require that the witnesses who sign the
                marriage license be at least 18 years of age; if someone
                younger than 18 signs the license, the license is rendered
                invalid.

                One solution is to have the maid of honor or best man who
                is younger than 18 serve in that capacity BUT NOT SIGN THE
                LICENSE.     In such a case, someone 18 or over who is
                present at and a witness to the ceremony may sign the license
                instead of the one who is legally too young.
 
 

    WHAT IF THERE HAS BEEN A PREVIOUS MARRIAGE ?

       If there has been a previous marriage for either party, it must
                first be cleared before any date can be set in the parish book.
                This is a requirement of the Bishop.    A previous marriage is
                cleared by a civil divorce AND by a church annulment or
                declaration of defect of form.
 

    An "annulment" must be obtained when the first
        marriage was performed before a Catholic priest;
        this procedure is handled by the Chancery Office
        (516) 678-5800.
 

    A "defect of form" declaration must be obtained when
        the first marriage of a Catholic was not performed before
        a Catholic priest.    This procedure is initiated at the
        parish level and then submitted to the Chancery Office.
 

       Because the church is the place where the Christian family
                gathers for worship and the sacraments, the church is the
                appropriate place for the sacrament of marriage.    Therefore
                the Diocese does not give permission for marriages to take
                place outside the church building. The only exception to this
                is in weddings of Catholics and non-Christians (as Jews or
                Moslems), when the non-Christian party insists that the
                wedding not take place in a Christian church.

    IS PRE-CANA REQUIRED ?

       Since marriage is a sacrament, there must be intelligent pre-
                paration for its reception, and so participation in a Catholic
                Pre-Cana programis absolutely required.

                St. Paul's Pre-Cana program is coordinated by Irene Goodwin
                (516) 626-1974.     Sessions are held three times a year:  Fall,
                Winter, and Spring.    Each session involves four evenings with
                four or five engaged couples and two married couples.

                There are also Diocesan Pre-Cana Programs and Pre-Cana
                weekend programs.    For information about these programs,
                call the Rectory (516) 935-1880.

                The World Wide Marriage Encounter Program on Long Island
                (including Engaged Encounter Weekends) has its own website
                at  .

     WHAT ABOUT THE MUSIC, THE ORGANIST, AND THE SINGER ?

       The parish organist is Don Lefante (516) 785-0901 or
              e-mail at:  djlefante@bigfoot.com
              He will help you choose your music program.

     MAY WE CHOOSE PEOPLE TO DO THE READINGS?

       Actually, the Church encourages this kind of participation in the
                wedding Mass or Ceremony.     The readers chosen, however,
                should have some experience at public speaking or reading, so
                that they may read God's Word clearly and with proper respect.
                Also non-Christians, such as Jews, should not be expected to
                read the New Testament Reading; they, of course, may read from
                the Old Testament, their own Scriptures.

                In a Wedding Mass, you may have two readers, one for the Old
                Testament Reading and one for the New Testament.    Both
                readings may be from the New Testament.     In a Wedding
              ceremony, you may select two readings or just one reading, from
                either the Old or the New Testament.     Only a priest or a deacon
                may read the Gospel.

                You may choose your readings from the booklet provided for
                you at Pre-Cana.     You may also choose a responsorial psalm
                for another reader to take.

               You may have a reader also for the "Prayer of the Faithful."
               These petitions should be selected or written before hand and
               given ahead of time to the priest or deacon presiding at your
               wedding.

                Finally, your readers should be present at the rehearsal so that
                they may become familiar with ceremony and with the
                microphone.

     MAY WE SUBSTITUTE A READING OTHER THAN A SCRIPTURAL
         ONE FOR ONE OF THE READINGS?

       No, only the inspired Word of God may be chosen for the usual
                Scriptural readings.      If another writing is really very important
                to you, you should make this known to the presiding priest or
                deacon well ahead of time.    It may be possible to use such a
                reading at a time not used for the Scriptures, such as after Holy
                Communion.

                By far, the most popular reading chosen at weddings is from the
                Scriptures.    It is from 1 Corinthians 13:
 
 

     WHAT IS THE USUAL OFFERING FOR A WEDDING?

        The wedding offering in our church is:   $75.00 for the organist
                 (a check made out to "cash"),  $75.00 for the vocalist
                 (a second check made out to "cash"), and a third check
                 made out to "St. Paul's Church."    The third check should
                 be for $225.00, if pre-Cana was done here at St. Paul's or
                 for $150.00, if pre-Cana was done elsewhere.
 
                These 3 checks should be presented to those presiding at the
                rehearsal.

                If additional musicians are desired, you must make separate
                offering arragements with them, and you must inform the
                organist to coordinate the music program.     (Don Lefante
                516-785-0901.)
 

     WHO PROVIDES THE WHITE CARPET FOR THE WEDDING?

      In our church it is not required that you have such a carpet,
               but if you want one, the limousine people usually supply it.
               For your information, the center aisle is 58 feet 9 inches long,
               and the main section of the church has 18 pews on each side,
               if you want to place bows on them.     Bows must be secured
               with rubber bands and not with tape that tends to pull off the
               varnish.

     IS IT PERMITTED TO THROW RICE?

     Throwing rice is discouraged, especially on Saturdays, since
              there is a 5 PM Mass, and there may be no time to clean it up.
              (Rice acts like ball-bearings and can cause people to fall.)
              People today choose other things to express their happiness
              and good wishes for the bride and groom.    Confetti or flower
              petals are sometimes used.     Ecologists have discouraged
              the releasing of balloons, since when they deflate, birds and
              other animals may be killed trying to injest them.    In no case
              should any of these things be done inside the church building.

    SHOULD WE HAVE A WEDDING PROGRAM MADE UP?

            This is entirely up to you; couples who have done this in the
           past have found programs sometimes useful and sometimes
                distracting.     They are especially useful when the names of
                all those participating in the wedding are listed.     They are
                especially distracting when too much is crammed into them,
                tempting guests to read them all through the ceremony.   The
                best advice is to keep the program simple, if you choose to
                have one.

                Program covers can be attractive and convey the theme you
                choose for your wedding.   You may obtain these covers from
                your printer or from religious stores such as Walsh-Conley in
                Hempstead or Catholic Supply in Roosevelt Field.

                You may obtain samples of these folders from previous weddings
                at the Rectory.

                Examples of a program may be seen here   .

    CAN WE OBTAIN A MAP CARD TO THE PARISH SO THAT WE CAN
        REPRODUCE IT AND INCLUDE IT IN OUR INVITATIONS?

        Yes, we have a card printed for this purpose.    It is the map
                 reproduced on the Map section of this website.    You may
                 download it or come to the Rectory for the map card.
 
 

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